History of Cats As Told By a Cat: America
The last issue
Hello, fellow hoomans who still follow me for some reason. I’m back again this week with the last issue of History of Cats As Told By a Cat. Yes, the time has come. So I’ll end it off in the Americas! It was one of the last places we cats went to, and it’s now the most populated, so it only makes sense.
Plus, I’m sure some of you who are American could use some more fun as you’re purrobably buried in bad news at the moment.
Oh, Hello Amurrica!
Contrary to your beliefs, we’re not from America. Yes, there is a whole world outside the USA, in case you didn’t know. We came here in the 1600s when those colonizers were running rampant and looking for the New World to ruin more of it. Anyway, remember Christopher Columbus? You purrobably do. Well, he did one good thing. He brought us here.
Originally, we were known as shipcats. At this point in time, we had already gained quite the reputation in Europe as being the best rodent destroyer there is. These colonists obviously know about our skills, so they took us on their ships to safeguard their food supply and all that jazz.
So yah, these voyages tend to be a one-way trip. So, naturally, we came, we stayed, we conquered. They conquered in shitty ways, we conquered your hearts.
This was also when we started to spread throughout North and South America. We also adapted quickly to the climate too. The abundance of food and better living conditions grew our population by 16%!
Domestication
Funny enough, we may have gotten to the Americas in the 1600s. But it wasn’t until the 20th century, we decided to domesticate ourselves into your homes. You can thank some president named Calvin Coolidge for that. He brought one of my ancestors into the White House. There, it wandered in and out as if it owned the place. You may wonder why we didn’t run for president since we were already there. I mean, is that really a job you want? Heh, I thought so.
Anyhoooooo, it was only then that word spread that we made great companions, not just “work cats”. Soon, the cooler hoomans would invite us into their home to live fully indoors. By the end of WWI, most hoomans accepted us. Took them long enough! They should borrow a page from other parts of the world.
Our Toilet Was Invented Here!
Fun fact, kitty litter was actually invented in America! A hooman named Ed Lowe made it back in 1940. Weird huh? We’ve been around for so long, using everything as litter. It only took un til 1940 for something like this to be invented.
So, I guess we can thank this guy for that. I think it started with him using saw dust, clay and sand to soak up oil spills. It wasn’t until his neighbour kept asking him for sand to soak up her cat’s business. She had a box filled with this stuff for my ancestor to shit in. So, this Ed must have been an opportunist and saw a chance to make lots of the green stuff to exchange for tuna.
Hence, kitty litter was born!
Salem Witch Trials
You may wonder if we were killed during the witch trials because we were obviously associated with witches and anything evil. It didn’t help that in Europe, they didn’t give a shit–such dark times... See the shit my ancestors had to put up with? And it’s just with these damn colonists!
But! Good mews!! They left us alone here, even after condemning our cool hoomans.
Arts & Literature
Like most places in the world, hoomans can’t help but include us in their works. One of the most famous is Dr. Seuss. That’s the hooman that wrote The Cat in the Hat. Some famous guy named T.S. Elliot also wrote a book called Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats.
Oh, don’t forget me and my mum also wrote a series called What if Cats Wrote? Which you can totally still get a copy from Amazon!
Not to mention the endless amount of cat content on social media pages. Although they were slow to welcome us into their homes, we made sure to love bomb them to the point where we are now everywhere! What can you say? We purrfected the art of manipurrlation!
Amurrica Today
Today, the USA is home to millions of us. According to some world population website, there are close to 80M of us, making it the highest for cat population. Insane huh? China comes in second place. We’re not as popular as dogs (PFFT!), but we’re up there. Although I think it should be number one. Purroblem is, hoomans can be lame. They’re a little obsessed with something called control, and that’s one thing they can’t do with us.
Anyway, it blows my mind how much we did end up thriving here, even though many other parts of the world worshipped us first.
Mission: Conquer World - 100% Completed
Well, I’ve taken you all over the world with me to learn about our history. From all over Asia to Europe to the Middle East to Africa. And now, the Americas. This wraps up my little series. I hope you enjoyed the trip, seeing how my ancestors have made sure to conquer the world and that all cats today, like me, have the best life we can!
Remember, we were once treated like Gods as we were mainly vessels for them or accompanied them. And we didn’t forget that! So yes, it wasn’t by accident that we are here today.
I’m also thinking of starting another one. Either one covering all the famous felines throughout history, or torture machines and call the series Meowchines of Malice, where I’ll make fun of the hooman race and your sick designs. But guess we’ll see what I feel like, when I DO feel like it. For now, it’s back to my beauty sleep!
Your support would mean the world to meow. For a one-time donation to my tuna or chicken supply, you can go here! 🥰🖤😺
Thank you for this. Litter Guy is cool. Would like famous cat stories next. Like did Puss really wear boots? Did Native Americans like cats?
The picture of her in the back seat is so cuuuute 🥰